Being Challenged

So yesterday, I started the 21 Day IBD Challenge by TCJF (The Crohn's Journey Foundation) and so far I feel pretty amazing. Not necessarily only my body but also my soul really like this challenge because it gives me an aim right now, a finish line that I've been looking for ever since my diagnosis (because where is your finish line going to be when there is no cure, eh?). I took a lot more time for myself each day in order to follow the diet and exercise plan of the challenge. It makes me more relaxed and less stressed even though I'm back to University and hell, it ain't no fun at all because I have to take way too many classes. In addition, even though a lot of activities by foundations as TCJF only take place in America, I feel more part of the group of IBDlers around the world. And, which by the way makes me really really happy, I found out Horst doesn't necessarily have to be a threat to my love for food. This is why I'm planning on a new section in my blog about food that I love and which is good to my belly, what could be more suitable for a blog by a person like me? 

So that's what the challenge is about: 

NO GLUTEN, NO DAIRY, NO SUGAR

EXERCISE THREE TIMES A WEEK FOR AT LEAST 20 MINUTES

Did sound tough in the beginning, but well it isn't actually. Here's what I ate/did so far:

Tuesday, 22nd April

 Breakfast: Self made gluten-free banana bread 

Lunch: gluten-free noodles with garlic sauce & few slices of Chicken

Dinner: Bowl of fresh Tuna Salad 

Exercise: 2 hour soccer practice 

Tuna Salad 

Wednesday, 23rd April

Breakfast: Slices of a fresh orange

Lunch: - none - (wasn't hungry at all due to late breakfast)

Dinner: Leftovers of the Tuna Salad & Blueberry-Banana-Shake

Exercise: 40 Minutes Bike Ride (I admit it - only to get to University and back)

Blueberry-Banana-Shake 

So far I'm pretty proud of myself and can only recommend this to everyone - ill or not. Give your body from time to time the chance to recover from all the shit you give to him everyday, he will be very thankful and peaceful in return. 

I will become what I deserve

So honestly, I think it's pretty lame how I always keep over-thinking things so much but just can't put them into words. I'm always torn between telling my friends or not telling them, but if I won't tell them, should I then make it public here? 

Ya, I'm an over-thinker. But honestly, who wouldn't be this in a situation like this? I keep going from being quite persuasive to myself on how everything is alright and will be alright to feeling completely desperate. I just feel like everything I ever wanted, I planned for, those things simply won't happen any more. No harm, I just feel like I can't talk to my friends about this. I feel like they will think I'm a hypochondriac if I would tell them. But if I'm being truly honest to myself, I know they wouldn't bring me down or something, they would be right there. Always. Just too much over-thinking. 

Right now, I'm so thankful that I'm pretty much overwhelmed with research work and exams from university, pretty much no time left to think. Still, I'm thinking too much. April 1st, I need to hand in my last research paper and this is quite scary to me, I'm scared of the time that will follow. Time to think even more. Time where I definitely need to make progress or I'm not going to be able to go any further. I need to over-think what I truly want in life and how I'm going to reach it. Well, just thinking about how I'm going to be able to reach my aims makes me really happy right now. Roller-coaster, whoa! 

I know I'm not being quite motivating right now and I honestly don't feel like I'm gonna be that in the near future, everything still feels so surreal. How do you live when you know things will never be the same, you will never be healthy again? But, not being healthy doesn't mean I can't be well or happy. And this is what I want to be, so I'm gonna go there and get it.